So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
