My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
