I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
