He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Randomize
