A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
