How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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