Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
