And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
