All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
How naked do you want me to be?
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