There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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