Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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