For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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