respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
