so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
