Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
