An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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