He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
