I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
