4 words: hood of his car
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
