Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize