no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
