forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
