it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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