The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
