WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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