i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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