I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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