Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
