i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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