I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
