Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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