i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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