he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Hippo gnu deer
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
