you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
