we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
