I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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