Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize