Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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