im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
