i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
So vagazzling was a success
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
