just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
she peed on how many people?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
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