just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
