i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
