We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
