he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
