life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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