I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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