Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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