Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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