My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I am available for nakedness
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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