if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
