Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You pole danced in your parka.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
