No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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