She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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