omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
