i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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