I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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