Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize