u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
