...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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