Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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