i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
