One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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