she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
