let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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